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Bye Bye Birding

Trip title: Birding and Botany in the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.

I always thought that I could become a passable birder if I really gave it a serious chance.  Wrong.

I got up in the dark like the rest of them.  And I tried to dress the part -- jeans, t-shirt, fleece, sneakers, snuggly hat and gloves.  Wrong.  The “real birders” wore zip-off Gortex pants, quick drying, long sleeve, button-down shirts, sturdy brown hiking boots and baseball caps.  They said my cozy blue gloves reminded them of a blue footed booby.

I wore binoculars dangling from my neck. Wrong, again.  They were dangling instead of being supported by a fancy around-the-chest strap arrangement.  Also mine were too dainty, more like opera glasses than real birding glasses.  By the way, those in the know called them binocs, binos and bins, not binoculars.

Birders climb out of their vehicles as the sun rises and stand by the side of the road, heads tilted back at an aching angle, bins raised, ears cocked.  They stand there by the side of the road for a very long time. The leader produces his I-Pod and plays the song of a sought-after bird.  The bird responds and flies closer giving experienced birders a rewarding glimpse.   Wrong for me. 

I am too impatient to be a birder.  As others stood riveted by the side of the road looking, listening, and collecting life birds, I charged on up the trail trying to walk off energy and calories looking for quaint cabins and stunning scenery.

Speaking of calories, our dining experiences in the Great Smoky Mountains were basic--Shoneys and Econo Lodge breakfast buffets featuring Froot Loops, donuts and waffles, tailgate picnics and Subway sandwiches for lunch, dinners at “all you can eat” buffets, barbecue joints and Applebees.  Needless to say we did not come home any thinner.

You could say our trip was high in calories and low in style.  The high point of our accommodations was the Airport Hampton Inn in Knoxville.  Most of our nights were at the Econo Lodge in Townsend, TN where our rocking chairs had a prime view of a great big red dumpster in the parking lot.

 The Great Smoky Mountains had taken a serious hit from a late season freeze destroying much of the early blossoms and foliage.  Good for viewing the migrating birds but not so great for the birds themselves as they had less cover and fewer things to eat.

The trip was advertised as Birding and Botany.  Maybe I would be good at botanizing.  Wrong. I’m not good at that either.  Crouching on the ground counting pistils and anthers, stamens and sepals was not for me.  I guess I am just a “walk in the woods” kind of nature lover, or as my brother said "Nature Lite."  I’m pretty good at naps, too.

 Our fellow birders were a brainy bunch. 

• Our leader Steve was a PhD ornithologist with several Birding Guides to his credit.  The second in command was a young man who was conducting his dissertation research in Peru. 

• Other traveling companions included
  • A MD/PhD and his RN/PhD wife (both retired) who ordered big glasses of skim milk at every meal,
  • Husband/wife PhD geologists, recently retired from Bryn Mawr, who liked their cocktails.  She resembled the austere woman in the famous Grant Wood painting of a farming couple holding a pitchfork - hair pulled back severely in an untidy braid.  He liked to tell stories, make puns and talk -and talk and talk.
  • The mystery couple from Roanoke was quite secretive about their lives.  There was something about real estate and pottery in their pasts.
  • My siblings, Ann, a retired attorney and an active birder and Charlie, retired, an amateur botanist and a certified plant nut.
• And then there was Tim and me, -- not birders, not botanists, who came along for “family fun.”

Cathy and Tim Ware

Charlie & Ann

April  2007